I’m so glad you’re here.
My name is Cal. I’m a life coach specializing in ADHD and other executive function challenges. I work with struggling teens and adults who are searching for a greater sense of control, ease, and joy in their day-to-day life. I’m committed to serving my clients with an evidence-based approach, and accordingly I’m in the process of receiving my certification as a coach from the ADD Coach Academy. And I, too, have ADHD.
I share this singular, misunderstood brain wiring with at least 1 in 20 adults in the United States. That’s over 12 million people— practically a small country! ADHDers have so much to offer, but we aren’t given the tools we need. Instead, we’re often left to struggle in systems that don’t work for us and won’t work with us.
This struggle is one I know all too well. I spent half my life fighting my own brain, trying to copy what I saw others doing and failing every time. I wanted to change my mind. No one told me I could work with it, instead. That I could live the life I wanted, exactly as I am. Then, I made an extraordinary discovery, and transformed my life with the power of coaching.
But let’s start at the beginning…
A long time ago, on a planet not so far away, I was born.
Soon after that, the trouble started.
I was always tuned to a slightly different channel than everyone else. I had two basic settings: nose in a book, or head in the clouds. I was so frequently distracted that whenever I left the house, my mother reminded me to watch my step. She was worried I’d get caught in a daydream and walk into traffic!
Between the walls of a classroom, my quirks became faults. My inability to pay attention was causing real problems. Projects were done at the last minute, and homework was lost in transit, when it was completed at all. Lockers overflowed while planner pages were left sadly blank. My school days began in dread and ended in tears. I was falling shorter and shorter of the potential I was sure I had. But I didn’t know why.
My grades tanked. So did my self esteem. My childlike joy in my unique self was replaced with misery and shame. If the system was working for everyone else, I reasoned, then the problem must be me. That was when I adopted the corrosive inner narrative shared by so many ADHDers— I believed there was something essentially wrong with me.
I spent the next decade trying to “fix myself.”
My favorite tool? The lash of internal judgment. By college, I’d learned to hide my problems. My professors praised my coursework, but I felt no satisfaction, too busy berating myself for the all-nighters I pulled to finish it. And it didn’t get easier after graduation. By my mid-twenties, the pandemic and a stroke of bad luck landed me back in my childhood bedroom.
I was terrified I’d never be able to face the world on my own two feet. My failures seemed overpowering. Worse, my successes felt undeserved. A remote job that I loved became a nightmare of missed deadlines and burnout. I found myself in a state of utter exhaustion, a paralyzing pit of despair I saw no way out of. My tried and true motivational tactics of self-criticism and last minute panic had stopped working. Without them, I was lost.
I already had a name for my struggles, I’d been diagnosed with ADHD-PI (Inattentive ADHD) years back, but I’d never been able to find help that was actually, well, helpful. Everyone had tips and tricks to offer, but I seemed unable to put any of them into practice. Even therapy seemed to offer little to no practical movement in the areas I really needed it. My hope for change was fading. But I had one last idea.
Enter my brilliant ADHD coach.
I spilled the details of my messy life, and they recieved me with patience and kindness. They acknowledged where I was struggling, and that felt great. But what came next was even better, and entirely unexpected— appreciation. They saw through my doubts and fears straight to the best of me, helping me recognize positive qualities I had no idea I possessed.
My well-being improved by leaps and bounds. The systems and strategies we set up were incredibly helpful in digging me out of the hole I’d wound up in. But in the process, I gained something even more fundamental. I started to see myself as a whole, independent, and capable person. And I began to forgive myself.
As I cultivated my newfound strengths, I realized that I had something to offer the world. I discovered my ability to skillfully hold space, to listen with compassion, and to invite the same transformation in others that I experienced through the coaching process. With my new self-knowledge came a sense of purpose. I envisioned this knowing as an inner light, guiding me to connect with people who are suffering the same way I did.
If you’re reading this, you have a light just like mine.
That’s why I founded Star System. That light is your strength, your passion, the best version of yourself. Maybe it’s dim and distant, maybe it’s flickering or fading. Maybe it feels like you lost sight of it a long time ago. But it’s still there. It’s an essential and undefeatable part of you.
Who could you be if you kept your eye on that guiding star? What would happen if you set your compass to it? If you followed it faithfully, where could you go? If you work with me, we’ll explore these questions and more together.
I offer a complimentary half-hour consultation. I’d like nothing more than to speak with you and learn how I can help you to ignite your own star system.
I can’t wait to see how you shine.
